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3 Reasons You Stay

Whether you are in a toxic relationship, a dead-end job or living in your parents basement, here's why you stay put.

Familiar. You don't have bad luck more so than bad habits. Most often we are simply flowing in the direction that is familiar to us. We are creatures of habit. If you grew up in a poor home, or an environment where there was little display of affection or where little dreams were realized, it is most likely that you will continue on the same trajectory. Most people have little exposure to the possibilities of what lies outside their experiences and unless you make it your mission to prove it wrong, most likely you will succumb to the "normal" you were exposed to.

Fear. If you feel a strong urge and need to change your life and not allow the circumstances of your past dictate your future, you are on the right track and ahead of most. However, even with this will power, most people give up at some point. Whether it is fear of failure and shame or fear of success and the unknown that awaits, fear gets in the way and causes a lot of resistance. Because, in order to transform ones' life one truly needs to combat fear on a regular basis, multiple times a day. To do so, one must truly feel so connected to their mission as though there is no other choice but to keep pushing forward.

Failure. Unlike popular opinion, in order to master oneself and achieve success on any level one must become really familiar with failure. Success is not the absence of failure but rather, the ability to repeatedly fail and continuously get up in stride. So if you have tried to leave your parents basement only to return again, or if you have tried to end a toxic relationship only to repeat the pattern again or if you have started a business only for it to flop on its head - these are not reasons to feel bad rather these are all reasons to learn from and continue with even stronger determination. Because it's not the winner of the game that wins, it's the loser who continues to play that truly wins the long game.

To master ourselves is no small task. But to live life as though we have any other choice is no small mistake. We are here for a specific reason and it is our duty to figure out what it is.

The first step to self mastery is to realize that it is up to you. Taking accountability for your environment is crucial. Your friends, social media, job and relationship influence you more than you like to admit.

Take a moment and ask yourself how can I elevate my day? What is something I can do right now that will push me in the direction of my dreams? Perhaps it is taking a moment to pause and allow yourself to dream. Or, perhaps it is setting a boundary at work or at home. But whatever it is, I hope you never lose sight of your power. Because I know that it is incredible!

Shabbat Shalom.

xx Zelda

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